Philosophy and Wealth

"Of course I do not forbid you to possess it [wealth], but I would have you reach the point at which you possess it dauntlessly; this can be accomplished only by persuading yourself that you can live happily without it as well as with it, and by regarding riches always as likely to elude you." Letters by Seneca (Stoic Master)

Recommended books on Stoicism

Perhaps you're wondering where to start. To know more about the Stoics, A Guide to the Good Life: The Art of Stoic Joy, by William B. Irvine, is a terrific introduction to the basic ideas and how they could be applied to daily life. To further your learning, read Seneca's Dialogues and Essays, Marcus Aurelius's Meditations, and Epictetus's Enchiridion.

Why I like being stoic

Knowing the principles of stoicism is one thing, but it is through the opportunities presented in life where the principles learned need to be applied (practiced) that one can truly appreciate stoicism. It gives you a system if you will, of how to deal with extremely challenging, uncertain or stressful moments in your life. A fundamental principle is understanding and distinguishing what is within your control and what is not. Our emotion is an example. We can be reactive to situations or we can be rational and logical, ie the stoic way. Harder said than done, but there is a choice. After months if not years of practicing, the foundational principles of stoicism can be so deeply internalised that it is no longer consciously considered, but lived. That's my goal. The principles of stoicism has guided and helped me in various facets of my life from health and fitness, to my business and personal relationships. Adopting the stoic philosophy has really improved the quality of my life indeed!

Is your happiness cheap?

The reason why we get stressed or upset is because we try to control the things that we can't control rather than focusing on the things we can. 

Let's say your definition of 'happiness' is- you are happy when things or life events that unfold hits your expectation but unhappy when it misses your expectation. This implies that your happiness is cheap because it doesn't require much effort to be taken away from you by a life situation that's not in your control. 

You expected great service at the 5 star hotel, but received hardly any attention much less a smile- you are unhappy. You expected a nice room but not only did you get a nice room, but you got an upgrade to the presidential suite- you are happy. You expected hot water in the shower, but you get only cold- you are unhappy. Your feelings and emotions, going up and down like a yo-yo being controlled by your environment rather being guided by your ability to focus and control your mind and thoughts about it.

The comedian, Kyle Cease said- "the only way we're hurt is not that someone broke our heart but broke our expectations." Does this mean we should lower our expectations or don't have one to begin with? I know that letting go of expectations is difficult because we've been conditioned to control everything but there is also a world of possibilities when we move with the music and embrace the unknown.

The mindset of winners

When you look at the high-achievers in this world be it in sports or in business, study their mindset. Winning begins with mindset.
'I'm going to be #1...'
'I'm going there to win not just any medal, but to win a gold medal...'
'I'm going to make an indelible impact...'
'I'm going to solve a problem that can affect the quality of lives of more than a billion people...'
...and so on.
They have amazing clarity, discipline and focus. They are hungry to 'win' regardless of major setbacks, the pain of training, oppositions and against all odds. They never give up on the single thing they can fully control- their mindset. It is amazing to observe the things that our physical body is capable if our mind is fully behind it.

Below is a link of a touching story of an Olympian, that shows just how important and powerful mindset is;

Getting upset won't help things

We may like to emulate highly successful CEOs and entrepreneurs when things are collapsing before your eyes. Many of you probably know Matt Mullenweg, CEO of Automattic, and original lead developer of WordPress? According to Tim Ferris in his book Tools of Tians, Matt is 'exceptionally calm and logical under pressure.' He's the epitome of 'getting upset won't help things.' Lets put this into perspective. His company is valued at more than $1 billion, has 500 employees and multiple data-center around the world- what are the chances that someone, somewhere has messed up right now?! 100%!! Yet, he is exceptionally calm! Wow!

Quickly shift your focus on the things you have control

After listening to a highly motivated, hard-working and successful individual whom I consider to be one of my mentors- this was my take home message; Everybody will be subjected to the 'unknowns' that present itself throughout our lives. But here is the thing- we're not in control of the 'unknowns'. We're only in control of what we decide to do when the unknowns hit our lives. What action we take in these situations are what separates the good from the great! It's taking 100% responsibility for our lives. Having the mindset that, 'nobody is coming to save us' except you! That is power!

Mr. Money Mustache blogs about Stoicism

So here is an overview of what, Mr. Money Mustache learned from reading the book "A Guide to the Good Life, The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy";

- Stoicism is a series of mental techniques and ways of life.
- To have a good and meaningful life, overcome your insatiability.
- The practice of negative visualization technique.
- Optimize what you can control and stop worrying about the things you can't.
- Experimenting with Voluntary Discomfort/Badassity.
- Fulfilling all of our life's obligations to our best ability.
- Have rewarding social interactions to maintain balanced happiness.
- Let reason triumph over reflexive emotions.
- The difference between pleasure and happiness.

Here is the link to the full blog post titled, "What is Stoicism and How Can it Turn Your Life to Solid Gold"

How to flourish

According to the famous American psychologist Martin Seligman, in order for an individual to truly flourish, you need 5 areas fulfilled;

1. Positive emotions and pleasure (eg. material and toys). *From a stoic perspective, while you can derive pleasure from material things have the ability to abstain. Must have self-control. Another note to mention is that things that give positive emotions and pleasure for you don't necessarily have to come at a steep price like possessing a Ferrari. Pursue the things that you enjoy and care about.

Ferrari or the Lamborghini?

2. Engagement (eg. work, training).

Health Talk at the Health Promotion Board

3. Positive relationships (eg. with your spouse, best friends). *Connection, good counsel, learn and grow, encourage and inspire, fun and laughs.

With my best friend

4. Meaning (eg. a cause or a purpose, something bigger than the self) *Identify your path, be clear with your vision and stay the course.

Quite alone time to look inward, reflect and examine.

5. Accomplishment (the fruits of successful work, training). *Oh the joy of finally being able to do my first muscle up...you can see my excitement in the video attached below :)

If you lived everyday like it was your last, the chances are that you'll fill your day with the 5 areas aforementioned and care less about the things that really don't matter. This will let you fully enjoy your life and allow you to flourish. If you detracted from it today, think about what could be improved for tomorrow.

Marcus Aurelius said, "Approach each task as if it were your last, because it very well could be."

What stands in the way becomes the way

"The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way." were powerful words from Meditations, a series of personal writings by Marcus Aurelius. This is a great reminder to us that every obstacle or crisis we face in life is an opportunity to practice the virtue of excellence. The American author, Ryan Holiday calls this- Stoic Optimism. See Ryan Holiday at TedxUChicago below;

 

Starting 2017 with a key message underlying Stoic Philosophy

Epictetus, reminds us to have the wisdom and clarity to differentiate between what we can change and what we can't- a key message underlying practical stoicism. Spend your valuable energy and time by focusing on the parts of your day that is within your control and on things we can change, like making good reasoned choices.

Betrayal of trust in a relationship

It began with small lies, which at the time, we let it slide. There were 2 reasons for this: one, we gave her (our domestic helper) the benefit of doubt and two, the implications were trivial. 
Yesterday, when I arrived home from work, my pregnant wife made me aware of her suspicion that our helper has been drinking. She observed that our helper was losing her motor coordination, had slurred speech and behaving very strangely "high" after coming back from grocery shopping. The alcohol smell from her breath and her body was becoming more obvious to us, yet when questioned, she repeatedly denied drinking. Connecting the dots backwards, we realized that this may not be the first time which then spurred us to dig deeper. The stakes were higher now as we have our first baby due very soon. A phone call to the local supermarket revealed and confirmed that our helper bought a small bottle of white wine worth around 11 Singapore dollars- the evidence we needed. At this point, her story changed from "didn't drink anything" to "Yes, I drink something,...I thought it was fruit juice". One lie after another. 
It is human nature to feel betrayed and hurt in this situation, as we did- at first. From a stoic point of view, Marcus Aurelius reminds us "reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears". We had to accept the fact that, there's no way to see from her lens of life, hence how could we understand the defiant lies or her lack of signs of conscience? 
When the lies continued, despite giving her multiple chances, we finally had to let her go as the implications of these lies were higher now. It's easy to get stressed about little things and to be too focused on our own issues but when things don't go as expected, welcome the opportunity to practice virtues of excellence in all situations.  

The classic Stoic thinking

An event itself is objective. It is neither good or bad, but our opinion makes it so. This makes it possible for us to choose our outcome. For some, their mental impulse is that of victim mindset and as a result suffer needlessly. The Stoics will choose acceptance as the way, and actively look for the blessing in disguise. Do not confuse acceptance with passive. It's an active process to make a positive experience; As my cousin would say with a smile, "be cool".

Step back into the flow of abundance

What separates the "Great" from the "Good"? The great are consistently focused and on purpose. The good get comfortable and distracted. The great do things right and do good things. The good may cut corners which often leads to backlash.
Have you been disappointed, dissatisfied or unhappy the last few months with your work performance (eg. property agent missing his/her targets, or an athlete unable to beat the opponent they did in the past with ease)? Do you find your current situation unacceptable? First thing to do is, "Don't Worry, Be Happy". This worldwide hit song by Bobby McFerrin reminds us that worrying about it is not going to turn the situation around, but 1 degree of change or even that slight mental pivot, could lead to stellar results. Many good people get comfortable and to various degrees, step into the stream of distraction. Have time for awareness and mindfulness so you can easily modulate the weighting of this distraction in your life, and quickly step back into the flow of abundance again where certainty, clarity, confidence and excellence resides. 

Amor fati (a love of fate)

From a young age, we desire for everything to happen exactly the way we wish it would. When it doesn't, the usual impulse is to get sad or angry, disappointed and even depressed. If you are feeling this state, ask yourself, 'What am I not accepting here?'. The stoics have a powerful tool whereby they simply accept what happens, allowing life to flow as it will. It's having the understanding and awareness that we don't have control of every event in this universe and choosing to find what they can be grateful about what has happened. The expression, amor fati (a love of fate) captures well the idea of accepting and loving everything that happens. Change your thinking, and you'll change your life!

Choose love, not hate

There may be certain situations in your life that the dominant impulse is for you to react or respond angrily, a bad habit that may have formed over many years. An example would be, always losing your temper when on the road with other drivers. This must be so common that people have coined the term, "road rage". The stoic thinker is aware that hate is not going to help the other driver, much less you. Hate is a negative emotion creating damaging physiological effects on your mind and body. Very unproductive and why experience that when you can avoid it? Alternatively, almost every situation is improved by choosing love, empathy and understanding.

Invulnerable to dependencies

It's good to enjoy life's pleasures, like fine wine, Michelin-starred dining or business class travel- nothing wrong with that. However, we're not truly free if we're addicted or dependent on this, because the dependency would be in control of our lives. Can you try going without your smart phone for a day? How would that make you feel- vulnerable? Wouldn't it be much better to have the strength to resist and to be in control, rather than the dependencies controlling our emotions and lives?

What is greatness?

Greatness is the ability to close the gap between knowing what you want, going through the processes, overcoming obstacles, and ultimately achieving the desired end result. Anyone can get lucky and have an easy life. But it's much more admirable and impressive to see a person reach their destination through honesty, hard work and perseverance, despite been dealt a harder hand.

Nothing to fear but fear itself

Chronic worrying and fear can be very destructive to ourselves and others around us. That's why there is "nothing to fear but fear itself", because of the damage and chaos it creates. It would be much more productive to immediately shift your focus from what you are worried about to spending your resources, energy and time on the things you have control. This will put you in a more favorable position and increase the chance of achieving the desired outcome or goal, eliminating fear in the process.

Check out the short clip created by Goalcast by clicking on the link below

Will Smith - Face your fears

We can be happy with very little

If you are forced to work more, drifting further away from spending time with your family, so you can acquire more money to pay for the things (luxury) you can do without- then many miseries and anxieties will follow. If you have wealth- good! But the truth is, we can still be happy with very little and live well, without becoming slaves to luxury, depending on it or becoming addicted to it.