How to flourish

According to the famous American psychologist Martin Seligman, in order for an individual to truly flourish, you need 5 areas fulfilled;

1. Positive emotions and pleasure (eg. material and toys). *From a stoic perspective, while you can derive pleasure from material things have the ability to abstain. Must have self-control. Another note to mention is that things that give positive emotions and pleasure for you don't necessarily have to come at a steep price like possessing a Ferrari. Pursue the things that you enjoy and care about.

Ferrari or the Lamborghini?

2. Engagement (eg. work, training).

Health Talk at the Health Promotion Board

3. Positive relationships (eg. with your spouse, best friends). *Connection, good counsel, learn and grow, encourage and inspire, fun and laughs.

With my best friend

4. Meaning (eg. a cause or a purpose, something bigger than the self) *Identify your path, be clear with your vision and stay the course.

Quite alone time to look inward, reflect and examine.

5. Accomplishment (the fruits of successful work, training). *Oh the joy of finally being able to do my first muscle up...you can see my excitement in the video attached below :)

If you lived everyday like it was your last, the chances are that you'll fill your day with the 5 areas aforementioned and care less about the things that really don't matter. This will let you fully enjoy your life and allow you to flourish. If you detracted from it today, think about what could be improved for tomorrow.

Marcus Aurelius said, "Approach each task as if it were your last, because it very well could be."

Betrayal of trust in a relationship

It began with small lies, which at the time, we let it slide. There were 2 reasons for this: one, we gave her (our domestic helper) the benefit of doubt and two, the implications were trivial. 
Yesterday, when I arrived home from work, my pregnant wife made me aware of her suspicion that our helper has been drinking. She observed that our helper was losing her motor coordination, had slurred speech and behaving very strangely "high" after coming back from grocery shopping. The alcohol smell from her breath and her body was becoming more obvious to us, yet when questioned, she repeatedly denied drinking. Connecting the dots backwards, we realized that this may not be the first time which then spurred us to dig deeper. The stakes were higher now as we have our first baby due very soon. A phone call to the local supermarket revealed and confirmed that our helper bought a small bottle of white wine worth around 11 Singapore dollars- the evidence we needed. At this point, her story changed from "didn't drink anything" to "Yes, I drink something,...I thought it was fruit juice". One lie after another. 
It is human nature to feel betrayed and hurt in this situation, as we did- at first. From a stoic point of view, Marcus Aurelius reminds us "reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears". We had to accept the fact that, there's no way to see from her lens of life, hence how could we understand the defiant lies or her lack of signs of conscience? 
When the lies continued, despite giving her multiple chances, we finally had to let her go as the implications of these lies were higher now. It's easy to get stressed about little things and to be too focused on our own issues but when things don't go as expected, welcome the opportunity to practice virtues of excellence in all situations.  

Thoughts on money, time and energy

The amount of time and energy that we possess can determine the quality of our life and our relationships. Do you have enough time and energy to exercise? To read and learn? To spend quality time with your partner or your kids? To travel and explore the magnificence of this world? Time and energy are truly valuable because look at money...can be made and lost...time can never be made! Being rich is having money; being wealthy is having time. A wealthy dad once said, "scrape, save, and invest". That is, go from working for money to money working for you. This will allow you to have more "time", and as a bonus you get more energy! Conversely, a person may be monumentally rich, but have very little time, poor health and failing relationships.

Words can never be unsaid

The stoics are aware that our words can have a powerful impact and influence on an individual. When arising from proper impulses, our words could serve to uplift, inspire and make an indelible difference to a person's life. Alternatively, the words, especially negative and hurtful things could potentially damage the relationship with your partner (child, friend, colleague, parent,...) permanently. This is why in the book, The Four Agreements by, Don Miguel Ruiz, the first agreement is 'Be impeccable with your word'. Be kind, wise and good so that proper words arise from them because words can never be unsaid.